meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
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just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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