Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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