he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
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vagina is talking i cant
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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