I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize