he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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