Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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