Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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