So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
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