She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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