So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
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the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
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I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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