His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
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So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
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Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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