Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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