we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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