I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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