when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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