Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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