Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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