took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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