Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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