ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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