I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize