I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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