like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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