There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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