Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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