they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize