fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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