Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
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you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
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She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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