Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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