I feel great
I just peed on a car
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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