I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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