hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize