I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I wear drunk well.
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