Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
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I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize