whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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