i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize