My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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