So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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