come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize