My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
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So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
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I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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