I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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