Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize