The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
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But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
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I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize