i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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