She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
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Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
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You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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