i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize