can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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