i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize