Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize