They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
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drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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